Where no one has a head

pretend you found my diary

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I went on a date last night with a boy named Tim.
All in all it’s a funny little story and since I’m practicing my slide typing, I shall ramble.
(I will start this story as all stories should begin, with the  chronological beginning)
Over the summer I worked at a restaurant with my friend Joe. We hung out a lot after work and sometimes Joe’s friend Tim would come hang out too.
I remember thinking he was cute, but it was a passing thought. He seemed convivial and interesting but sometimes Joe’s charisma rubs off on people.
Tim apparently asked Joseph if I was single a few times before Joe asked if he wanted to go out with me sometime knowing that Tim is shy.
Last week, Joe came by my house with fire wood and asked if I was seeing anyone. He then asked if I would consider ” chaperoning” his little brother on a double date with his friend Tim.
Around mid week Joe informed me that Tim was going to a Christmas party and I was his date. (I must interject at this point that both Joe and Tim were raised Jehovah’s witnesses but don’t feel it in their hearts at all).

Friday, the day of the party, he called me and formally asked me to this party with him and we discussed when he would pick me up. It was adorable. I was giddy inside.

I was home alone after work so I took my time getting ready and creeping on his Facebook.

When he got to my place he came up to the door and knocked, he opened the car door for me and we were so into our conversation during the car ride that we missed the street the party was on and had to make a loop.
It was a party his boss was throwing in his big fancy house. We made small talk for a bit with other party goer’s before getting drinks and exploring the house at the hostess’s insistence. We found an empty living room and just talked for hours until the previously mentioned little brother needed us to take him home (because we were his chaperones that evening).
I got him to give me a good night hug, we’ve been texting since he got home and we’re going out Tuesday

Filed under personal dating love life twitterpated first date

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OK, there’s a slide to type function on my tablet and I want to get better at it so I am going to write for a while as practice. I’m watching Bones while my brother plays on Pottermore. This is his last day on sick leave from school so his coughs are less frequent.
My best friend asked if I might move into a small house with her and her husband and their daughters (who are my goddaughters, 2 and almost a month). It sounds like a lovely idea, it would be cheaper to live like that, I bet we could go to Costco, Sha and I would kick ass at the domestic shit. We’d make meals in advance, I could play with babies all the time. Marcos is a sensible fellow and I can’t really see anything going wrong being around him for extended time.
I’m getting hungry so I might make this the end for now. But it is fun to write with a swipe so I will write more later

Filed under practice stream of consciousness

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I hung out with my best friend yesterday. It was really nice to see her. She’s married and due to have her second daughter at the end of the month. Her little girl was sick so we chatted while zoey watched cartoons.

I love talking to sha because she’s always been so level headed. We talked about relationships some and that really helped me with some of the stuff I’ve had on my mind.
She told me that there was a time (before they got married of course) where they took a little break and dated other people while working on their friendship. I’ve respected her husband since I got to know him. They dated in high school, and got pregnant at 16. They gave that baby up for adoption but he really grew up. He knew her family and friends would be unhappy with him, but he took it and worked hard to gain all of our trust.
I was the maid of honor at their wedding and was given the task of ‘babysitting’ him before the ceremony. He told me that he knew from the moment he met her that she would be his wife, it just took a while for her to get there too.

Filed under personal relationship best friends

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I need to touch another human beings body. Not sexually, I just want to feel somebody’s warmth, like a hug and I want someone to tell me it is going to be fine though I am not sure what’s wrong

I was told once that people need at least 10 hugs a day to thrive. I wish I could give you a nice big one.

(Source: colors-ofourminds)

Filed under hugs

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I had a dream I was at your house, you were having a party with carnival rides in your back yard.
There were lots of people I didn’t know, I only knew you and I’m shy.
Whenever you weren’t around, I would hide inside your house and start reading but you would always come looking for me, talk to me and encourage me to come back out.
The last time I hid, I went upstairs and climbed into bed with my book. It took you longer to find me but when you did we kissed.
The kisses turned into a tumble between the sheets. Your friends burst in on our post-coital snuggle to announce that we were all going swimming.
Then I woke up

Filed under dream kisses carnival ride party introvert reading

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As men, we’re held to the expectation that we’re not supposed to be insecure about our bodies. There is the misconception that we are more secure with the physical aspects of ourselves than the opposite sex. Yes, there is much less pressure placed on the male sex to maintain our bodies, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t influenced.

Media paints the expectation of keeping our bodies strong, fit, and athletic. Other expectations such as the grooming of our body hair are placed on us as well. A lot of men may not show it, but it’s in their minds. A lot of us are incredibly insecure.

I’m insecure about my body. Ever since I’ve been small, I’ve hated showing my body off. I’ve hated taking my shirt off to jump into a swimming pool or even to have sex. It’s a part of me that I’ve always hated. I’ve always been very, very skinny, and I’ve never been the most athletic person, nor have I ever had that built look.

Here’s the thing, guys. That expectation of having a perfect, muscular body with the abs, the pecks, biceps, traps, and the look many of us desire? Drop it. Whether you’re skinny, fat, or somewhere in between, it’s okay.

If you’d like to fit that TV image of men, then do it! Nothing is stopping you, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be that. But remember, your weight does not define who you are. Your physical features do not define who you are. Your attractiveness is not based off of what the media, or general population thinks of you.

I want all of you to be proud of yourselves. I want all of you to be proud of your body, and most of all, I want all of you to accept who you are in every aspect of yourself. You are not perfect, and you never will be, but it’s the effort that really matters.

I took these photographs of myself about half an hour ago for this particular post. I’ll be honest; this is something that I was really hesitant to do, but I’m going to take one for the team. These pictures were tough for me, but I did it. You’ve got this. Stay strong, men!

^ Proud of you for doing this!


(Source: esoterichumor, via musicaljello)

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Happiness is not the same thing as satisfaction. To be satisfied is to be content, to stay in one place and become comfortable. Happiness exceeds those limits and can be found even outside of your comfort zone. Happiness requires continually growing and genuine effort from one moment to the next.

That’s why the stoics believed that happiness isn’t what we should strive for. Happiness continually requires more and more. Eventually you can no longer reach happiness.
I really dig a calm contentedness

(Source: colors-ofourminds)

Filed under stoicism hapiness contentment

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I’ve always been skinny, I truly and honestly hate being skinny it’s so…un feminin, I guess. And having small boobs is like, one day you love them and then the other you don’t! I try so hard to convince myself that my body isn’t that bad…but it is.

I feel the same way looking at my own body, but your body is beautiful. Maybe if we all try to support each other, we can all feel better together.


I’ve always been skinny, I truly and honestly hate being skinny it’s so…un feminin, I guess. And having small boobs is like, one day you love them and then the other you don’t! I try so hard to convince myself that my body isn’t that bad…but it is.

I feel the same way looking at my own body, but your body is beautiful. Maybe if we all try to support each other, we can all feel better together.

Filed under skinny thin ibtc self love body image

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David called after he was done at the studio. The plan is for me to get to sleep earlier, and then he & I will hang out when I’m out of work. We talked about batman & the wind in the willows

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David called. He’s still at work but still wanted to call to see how late I’d be up and to ask if I could hang out with him tomorrow or the next day.
I can’t stay up most of the night drinking, smoking and sexing this time. I must use self control so I can get to work & not be a zombie.

I drunkenly told him I loved him one night shortly before or after throwing up in his bed. He was very cool about it, but I’m too shy to talk about that half remembered conversation. I do know he said he loves me too.

Filed under guys called me personal love sex pisces